Back To The Movies: A Look Ahead
What will it take to return us to theaters?…
The recent summer releases hoped to thrust the vaccinated public back into movie houses nationwide. Those expectations did not entirely pan out.
The two biggest openings, Jon Chu’s adaptation of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s In the Heights and John Krasinski’s A Quiet Place: Part II, averaged only a moderate run, with the latter grossing about three quarters of it’s prequel and Heights unable to even recoup its $55 Million budget (the film earned $44 Million).
Keep in mind, these releases, like so many we’ve seen and will continue to see this year, that were supposed to rock the world last year. The problem was that the world rocked itself a little harder. Desperate to give audiences a fulfilling theater experience, the studios shelved these releases. First for three months, then nine, then a full year. With the prospect of a safe emergence from quarantine in the near future continuously dwindling, this too may not be enough for solid business. There is, of course, streaming. But that means low viewership.
This year’s abysmal Academy Awards reaped the curse of a slate of nominated films on streaming services, with the telecast’s viewership cut by a depressing 60% — people were turned off. Most had no idea there even was a show, nor any of the eight films nominated for Best Picture. The same goes for every other award show. With no crowds lining up at the theater, there is no general consensus of what’s good, bad, or even available.
Take, for instance, Respect, the Aretha Franklin biopic starring Jennifer Hudson as the late music legend. This was a flick I had been anticipating for over a year. It opened this past weekend…and I had no idea. Why? Was it my own persistent sloth? Probably, but that can’t make up for all of it.
There is a public detachment from cinema the likes of which I’ve never seen before. For God’s Sake, it makes In the Heights seem like an avant-garde sleeper! One can only assume that it’ll take public health and safety guidance to allow for crowds again to get back to our seats, but what will be the saving grace if Lin-Manuel Miranda couldn’t even do it?
Let’s look ahead and try to find the magnet.
First things first, we have LOTS of musicals. Too many for one year. In addition to Heights, we have two other adaptations of Broadway smashes.
First, there’s Dear Evan Hansen, the arrogant, tone-deaf, somehow feel-good smash about a young boy taking advantage of another kid’s suicide to raise his morale. This will feature now-95-year-old Ben Platt as the 16-year-old he originated in the stage show. I’m not looking forward to it, but this could bring the snotty-nosed high-school theater geeks out (they’re like Trump supporters, you never quite know how many there are until an event shows up). I’ll cut them some slack, though, they haven’t had any theater since Moulin Rouge!. It will open on September 17th.
Finally, there’s West Side Story, Steven Spielberg’s equivalent of a baby-boomer buying a 50-year-old Mustang a year into retirement. Nobody wants this, nobody needs it. There is no conceivable way that this will be revisioned with any inspiration — it’s Steven Spielberg. It will be pale and likely disrespectful to its source (Keep in mind, Spielberg had the Connecticut delegation oppose freeing slaves in Lincoln, which did not happen). Ansel Elgort, who we shouldn’t forget may or may not have molested some teenagers several years ago, is playing Tony. God, I’m yawning just writing this. I will never forgive Tony Kushner, who wrote the screenplay, for signing on to this. Mark your calendars for December 10th, if you care.
Another valuable resource is Timothee Chalamet, who has been known to sell some serious tickets. He’ll be starring in Denis Villeneuve’s remake of Frank Herbert’s Dune, a much anticipated Sci-Fi epic that will open October 22nd. Chalamet fans will have a weighty choice between that or his pencil-mustachioed supporting role in Wes Anderson’s equally-awaited love-letter to journalism, The French Dispatch, which will be released on the same day.
There are some thrillers that could draw crowds. Edgar Wright will make a comeback with Last Night in Soho, co-written by Oscar-Nominated 1917 screenwriter Krysty Wilson-Cairns and starring Jojo Rabbit’s Thomasin McKenzie and Anya Taylor-Joy of Queen’s Gambit fame.
A play that I love, Stephen Karam’s Pulitzer-nominated and 4-time Tony winner, The Humans, is being adapted for the screen. This will star Beanie Feldstein, hot off her lauded roles in Lady Bird and Booksmart in a story of a strenuous Thanksgiving in a working-class family’s apartment in New York’s Chinatown. It is scheduled to debut at TIFF next month; no word on a theatrical release yet. I don’t anticipate flocks of theatergoers when it opens, but I felt the need to mention Humans because its the film I’m looking forward to the most.
If all else fails, there is the obvious fallback: Marvel. Eternals comes out November 5th, and I already predict it will be the highest-grossing opening of the year. I haven’t the foggiest idea what the story is (that’s not my bag), but it’s Marvel so it would make half a billion dollars on opening weekend in a normal season. That being said, such success isn’t assured in this environment.
This is how bad it’s gotten, I’m not even solid that a Marvel film will turn a profit...
Cinema geeks may find something to love in the movie, though. Chloe Zhao, who won the Oscar for Nomadland this year, is at the helm. Perhaps the studio wishes to broaden their appeal by hiring an indie director? Or, God forbid, they actually wish to stylize their work? Nah, couldn’t be.
What it’s truly going to take to bring people back to the Movie Theater is health and safety. Go and get your shots, get a third or fourth one or whatever Dr. Fauci wants you to do. We all know the drill. Wear your facial coverings, keep your distance, hold off on the orgies for a few more months, and, especially, don’t take the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. Please. I want to see The Humans in a theater, and I don’t want people to die. One of those I want more than the other.
